boundaries – Ready Set Heal

Dear adoring fans aka other women struggling with painful periods,

This can be a tricky time of the year for many reasons. To begin with the elephant in the room: STRESS

We are all affected by stressful situations in some form or another around the holidays. Whether it be from external circumstances like travel, family pressure (too many potential problems to name) or internal ideas of perfectionism, we as women can all relate to feeling stressed out right about…NOW.

This stress can cause us to tense up all over, to breathe quickly and in shallow spurts, to over/under eat and to attempt to act like we’re holding it all together. My first bit of advice to you, is to cry it out. Get yourself to a safe space, turn on some sad music or a sappy YouTube video and let the ugly cry begin! You deserve to RELEASE! This is proven to allow our brain and our bodies to loosen our grip on life and begin to relax.

After that, you should focus on some deep breathing. Really allow yourself to stay in that safe space for 10-15 minutes and allow yourself to focus only on your breathing. Gently and lovingly guide your mind back to your breath or a steady sound as it is bound to wander. Give yourself a break. You are a ROCKSTAR and you have earned this time of silence. If you can’t do it for you then give these moments of silence for those still sick & suffering from perfectionism. Hopefully this thought will even make you smile as you become the watchful observer of your life instead of the stressed out victim.

In addition to stress, the holidays are also typically a time of flare up due to the amount/types of food we consume. I understand that traditions are fun, and you may not want to hurt anyone’s feelings by not tasting the 12th pie or peanut brittle of the gathering, but kindly framing the statement regarding your health is typically enough so people don’t keep pushing the envelope. Gluten can be hard for many women to digest. I suggest attempting to avoid it or cutting back significantly on your intake of processed gluten (and processed food in general) Instead try to find organic ingredients to cook with and make your family favorites with a lot of love and a lot less triggering chemicals. Pesticides have been linked to many illnesses and women with endometriosis find that organic foods are digested much more easily than nonorganic.

I also highly suggest drinking filtered water and avoiding alcohol as much as possible. The chlorine and flouride can exacerbate symptoms of endometriosis and alchohol is a nearly guaranteed trigger for illness and pain related to endometriosis sufferers. Be mindful and treat your body with the love and respect it deserves this season and everyday.

This might seem like a strange place for this topic. But with all the research I’ve done, childhood emotional trauma is a reoccurring issue linked with endometriosis and other complications with reproductive health.

Does this hit close to home for you? It was certainly something I denied for many years and repressed hoping to please my mother and ignore my aching heart.

Finally, after years of struggle, I am able to admit it and speak openly with my mother. I realize not everyone will be so lucky as to be able to have such an open dialogue. However, we always have the ability to write it out.

I am a firm believer in the power of writing. (CAN YOU TELL?) Anyway, there is scientific evidence that putting our thoughts down on paper can truly make a difference. In this case, it allows our hearts and minds to release these long-repressed emotions.

This is vitally important to improving this illness. We must be able to admit that our inner child was hurt by actions or words expressed by the being that brought us into this world who was meant to protect us and show us unconditional love.

Now that I am a mother myself, I have a deeper appreciation for mothers everywhere, especially my own. I understand how hormonal changes alter our personality, how the strain of motherhood and the opinions of our friends and family weigh heavily upon our hearts. I also understand that it is my responsibility as an adult human being to show my son the love and respect he deserves, regardless of how tired I may be or how much my financial strain leads me to feel worthless or incapable of parenting properly.

My son does not care whether I have $40 to my name or $40,000 in a savings account. What he does care about is how often I smile, the way I look at him from across the room right before I pounce on the ground to chase him around the room and the songs I make up for him while I sing him to sleep. The smiles I bring to his face and the laughter I can create bring more to me than any amount of money ever could. I am beyond blessed. And I must remind myself of that every moment that my thoughts circle back to my comfortable downward spiral.

The downward spiral… ahh, that reminds me, back to this mother wound that began this whole topic. Whatever it was that hurt you so deeply–be it words that still ring in your ears today, a memory of being screamed at and spanked, or even an entire feeling of being unlovable altogether–these things can all be undone. Not as easily as they were done, of course, but I promise that they can be. I am a practitioner that teaches people how to release the limiting beliefs acquired in childhood and beyond, but that will be another course altogether.

For the moment, I highly recommend writing a letter (or letters) to the people that hurt you in childhood. Not intending to send them, of course, simply to express deeply internalized emotions and beliefs that perhaps even you had forgotten about prior to beginning this process. This will help you begin to heal these wounds, and then you can begin to heal yourself.

Holiday Health

Mommy issues, anyone?