This might seem like a strange place for this topic. But with all the research I’ve done, childhood emotional trauma is a reoccurring issue linked with endometriosis and other complications with reproductive health.
Does this hit close to home for you? It was certainly something I denied for many years and repressed hoping to please my mother and ignore my aching heart.
Finally, after years of struggle, I am able to admit it and speak openly with my mother. I realize not everyone will be so lucky as to be able to have such an open dialogue. However, we always have the ability to write it out.
I am a firm believer in the power of writing. (CAN YOU TELL?) Anyway, there is scientific evidence that putting our thoughts down on paper can truly make a difference. In this case, it allows our hearts and minds to release these long-repressed emotions.
This is vitally important to improving this illness. We must be able to admit that our inner child was hurt by actions or words expressed by the being that brought us into this world who was meant to protect us and show us unconditional love.
Now that I am a mother myself, I have a deeper appreciation for mothers everywhere, especially my own. I understand how hormonal changes alter our personality, how the strain of motherhood and the opinions of our friends and family weigh heavily upon our hearts. I also understand that it is my responsibility as an adult human being to show my son the love and respect he deserves, regardless of how tired I may be or how much my financial strain leads me to feel worthless or incapable of parenting properly.
My son does not care whether I have $40 to my name or $40,000 in a savings account. What he does care about is how often I smile, the way I look at him from across the room right before I pounce on the ground to chase him around the room and the songs I make up for him while I sing him to sleep. The smiles I bring to his face and the laughter I can create bring more to me than any amount of money ever could. I am beyond blessed. And I must remind myself of that every moment that my thoughts circle back to my comfortable downward spiral.
The downward spiral… ahh, that reminds me, back to this mother wound that began this whole topic. Whatever it was that hurt you so deeply–be it words that still ring in your ears today, a memory of being screamed at and spanked, or even an entire feeling of being unlovable altogether–these things can all be undone. Not as easily as they were done, of course, but I promise that they can be. I am a practitioner that teaches people how to release the limiting beliefs acquired in childhood and beyond, but that will be another course altogether.
For the moment, I highly recommend writing a letter (or letters) to the people that hurt you in childhood. Not intending to send them, of course, simply to express deeply internalized emotions and beliefs that perhaps even you had forgotten about prior to beginning this process. This will help you begin to heal these wounds, and then you can begin to heal yourself.
